10 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Own Success Without Realizing It –Avoid These Common Pitfalls for a More Fulfilling Life

Are you your own worst enemy?

Gene Crawford
8 min readMar 24, 2023

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I posted a thought to Facebook a while back. Asking in an open-ended way if “you are your own worst enemy?” It was enlightening to me to read the replies.

Overwhelmingly the answer I saw was; “yes”.

Why is that? I have my assumptions and if you’re interested in what my thoughts are please read on. I’ll warn you though, I may trigger you so proceed at your own risk… :)

The article offers tips for personal growth and self-improvement, highlighting common pitfalls and habits that can hinder progress. Suggestions include effectively communicating expectations in relationships, starting small to achieve long-term goals, practicing gratitude, being kind to oneself, avoiding over-analysis, choosing the right path over the easy path, valuing personal opinions over others’, and setting realistic expectations. By recognizing these issues, individuals can work to develop healthier habits and achieve greater personal growth.

You Have Unmanaged Expectations

I witness so many unmanaged expectations of people when it comes to personal relationships. How can you have any type of expectation for someone and never actually communicate what it is outside of your own head?

Furthermore; Have you even determined what you expect in the first place? Or are you just going with the flow until something you don’t like happens?

We need to learn to communicate, not even clearly and efficiently, the bar is actually pretty low. Telling others what you are trying to do and what you seek from the experience is important so that they know what’s up.

Even if you can’t get your ideas across efficiently, the act of trying will still get you pretty far. You’ll show that you are capable of opening up to them which sets the tone for them to be open with you as well.

Trust me, if you don’t even tell someone what you want you’re never going to get it.

The root of all frustration and disappointment is unfulfilled expectations. — Tony Robbins

Your Ego Is Getting In The Way

You may be waiting for a life-changing event or idea to motivate you to take action. You may be looking for someone to rescue you or for the perfect opportunity to present itself before you start.

But these things are unlikely to happen.

The most meaningful accomplishments in life don’t happen overnight, and you need to start somewhere in order to achieve anything. Start small, start from the beginning, and start as a novice. This is how you become a master at something. You need to understand that true success is built by doing the small things, every day. Learn to appreciate the details of your life. Learn to start something without fear of failure or worrying about what others think of you.

You Are Taking Things For Granted

Do you have certain expectations for how things should be in your life? What happens if they don’t turn out that way? Do you expect others to support and check on you, but don’t offer the same in return? Do you just assume that each day will be the same as the last, allowing you to go about your routine without any interruptions?

Instead, try to be grateful for what you have in life. Show gratitude to those who show interest in you and go out of their way to support you. Shift your focus from yourself to others, and you may find that this is the key to enlightenment in your own self-journey.

You Are Your Own Worst Critic

How is your own self-talk? What do you say to yourself when you’re trying something new? I’m willing to bet you say things to yourself that if someone else said them to you, you would punch them in the face for it (or at least would really love to.)

We are often so hard on ourselves that it gets in the way of our own progression. Learn to employ positive thoughts and supporting actions that put you in the best position for success. Talking to yourself like you’re a jerk isn’t a great start for anything.

Unmet expectations can cause a cascade of negative emotions that can be difficult to overcome. — Chris Bailey

You Over-Analyze Most Things

Are you stuck in the past or too worried about the future? Let it go…

If you spend too much time focused on what was, you will take things happening around you in the present for granted. You won’t be able to be present in the moment when you spend time with the people you love for example. On the other side if you are worried about what could happen or what could go wrong in the future you will lose the ability to learn from your past and you respect the thing happening around you right now like you should.

I get it, you have to learn from past actions and history and you need to prepare for the future at some level. Do that for sure. But don’t become fixated on either/or of those and stop taking what you’re doing right now for granted.

You Prefer The Easy Way Over The Right Way

We’re all lazy at some level. There is always something we don’t want to do. Taking the path of least resistance can be a smart move some of the time. Efficiency is always rewarded but don’t put your own comfort ahead of actual accomplishment. Remember; hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

The greatest risk in life is not taking one. — Tim Ferriss

You Value Other People’s Opinions Too Much… Especially About Yourself.

Valuing other people’s opinions over your own can be detrimental to your mental health and well-being. When you prioritize the opinions of others over your own thoughts and feelings, you may find that you are constantly seeking validation and approval from others. This can lead to a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, as you may feel that your own opinions and beliefs are not good enough.

Furthermore, valuing other people’s opinions over your own can prevent you from being true to yourself. When you are constantly trying to please others, you may find that you are not living according to your own values and beliefs. This can lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and unhappiness, as you may feel that you are not living the life that you truly want to live.

You Set Unrealistic Demands Or Expectations Of Yourself.

Setting unrealistic demands or expectations of yourself can be detrimental to your mental health and well-being. When you set unrealistic expectations, you may find that you are constantly feeling disappointed and frustrated, as you are unable to meet the expectations that you have set for yourself. This can lead to a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, as you may feel that you are not good enough.

Furthermore, setting unrealistic expectations can prevent you from being realistic and practical. When you set unrealistic expectations, you may be setting yourself up for failure. This can lead to a sense of disappointment and disillusionment, as you may feel that you are unable to achieve your goals and aspirations.

When you set unrealistic expectations, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. This can prevent you from feeling motivated and inspired to take action and make progress toward your goals. As a result, you may find that you are not reaching your full potential and are not achieving your goals and aspirations.

Unmanaged expectations are the quickest path to unhappiness. — William Shakespeare

You Need Inspiration To Act

Waiting on inspiration to start your next important project in life can be detrimental to your progress and success. When you wait for inspiration to strike, you may find that you are constantly procrastinating and delaying your work. This can prevent you from making progress toward your goals and can lead to a lack of productivity and efficiency.

Waiting on inspiration can prevent you from being consistent and disciplined. When you are waiting for inspiration to hit, you may find that you are not working on your project on a regular basis. This can make it difficult for you to develop a consistent routine and can prevent you from making consistent progress toward your goals.

This can all lead to a lack of motivation and determination. When you are waiting for inspiration to hit, you may find that you are not feeling motivated and determined to work on your project. This can make it difficult for you to stay focused and committed to your goals and can prevent you from achieving your desired results.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. — Winston Churchill

You Don’t Try New Things Because You Are Afraid Of The Way You Will Look If you Fail At Them

This is probably the biggest thing working against you, I encounter this a lot when I talk to people.

  1. Fear of embarrassment: Many people are afraid of being embarrassed or looking foolish in front of others, especially if they are trying something new or doing something outside of their comfort zone.
  2. Fear of failure: Some people may be afraid to try new things because they are worried about failing or not being good at it. This can be especially true if they have experienced failure in the past or if they have a negative self-image.
  3. Fear of judgment: Some people may be afraid to try new things because they are worried about being judged or criticized by others. They may feel pressure to succeed or be afraid that others will think less of them if they don’t succeed.
  4. Fear of the unknown: Trying new things often involves stepping outside of one’s comfort zone and into the unknown, which can be intimidating and scary for some people.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own fears and limitations, and it’s okay to feel hesitant about trying new things. But more importantly, it’s crucial to recognize that it’s okay to fail and that failure can be a valuable learning experience.

Breif

10 ways people can improve themselves and achieve personal growth, such as managing expectations, starting small, practicing gratitude, being kind to oneself, avoiding over-analysis, valuing personal opinions over others’, and setting realistic expectations. By recognizing these issues and working to develop healthier habits, individuals can achieve greater personal growth. You may be your own worst enemy, with habits such as over-analyzing, taking things for granted, and valuing others’ opinions over their own.

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Learn how to avoid self-sabotage and achieve personal growth with these 10 tips, including effective communication, gratitude, and self-kindness.

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Gene Crawford

Sensei, Blackbelt in Karate, CrossFit, BJJ Practitioner. Gym Owner at Warrior Fitness. Co-founder of SOCO & Period Three a web design firm.